It may be Easter, but a lot of students have exams not long after the holidays, which means that it is wise to start preparing for the mountain of coursework and barrage of exams rapidly coming our way. I am one of those people who has been known to take a shower as a way of putting off work, but there are only so many showers you can take a day before the devil starts making a place for you in hell for wasting water when there are people in the world who have to walk miles for even a drop. Consequently, I have decided there is only one thing to do instead of procrastinating, and that is blog about it:
1) Find a webmaster
A lot of the older generations often say that university students have it easy due to the fact we can type essays up on Microsoft Word; back in the olden days a lot university students had to write by hand, which meant if you made one mistake then you had to rewrite the entire page. However, I object to this; whilst in theory we can type an essay up in a few hours, we also have internet access which means ”HELLO TWITTER/FACEBOOK/TUMBLR” etc etc.
Writing an essay without writing the obligatory ”writing an essay status” or Tweeting about it is like falling down the rabbit hole, because before you know it you are lost in the internet wonderland where originally you only stuck your foot in the door to let the world know that you are working, but somehow ended up on Youtube watching baby Pandas sneeze (awesome video by the way).
The only solution is to find the nearest Computer Science student and get them to diasble the WIFI on all your electrical goods from your laptop to your mobile until you have written an essay that is worthy of being published in an academic journal………..or is graded at a 2.1
2) Join 02
Of course, you may have disabled WIFI on your phone, but unfortunately 3g and 4g exists which means you can still get on the internet and waste precious essay writing/revision time. My advice to you is to get yourself on 02, because it is a network which is so temperamental in terms of signal you’d be better off buying a courier pigeon and sending all your messages that way. If you join 02 you’ll have no signal, and thus no internet access, because as a man on Twitter said ”02 has gone down on me this year more than the wife has”.
3) Have one day dedicated to procrastinating.
This may sound counter productive, but if you devote one day to doing all the things you when you are supposed to be when studying then you will get it all out of your system and you will feel so guilty that you will work extra hard the following days (maybe). So pick a day and spend it sprawled on your bed in your jim jams watching repeats of old sitcoms, in between taking multiple showers; just make sure you work hard the next day (or the day after).
4) Make sure you work alone
I have said this time, and time again but study groups do not work! The only work that ever occurred in any of my study groups was me working my mouth into overdrive as I merrily talked about how I was going to fail whilst all my work lay in front of me untouched. Sure, you may start going mad due to spending too many hours working on your own, but I’d rather be a mad person with a 2.1 than a sane person with a third.
5) Go to the library.
When I have work to do, my work suddenly turns in Aladdin’s cave, filled with lots of awesome stuff that prevents me working. I resolved this issue by making sure that I completed all work in the library, because it is difficult to procrastinate when you are surrounded by people working infinitely harder than yourself. Also, you feel a sense of shame when someone walks past and they can see you reading the Daily Mail’s showbiz section (it’s my guilty pleasure).
However, make sure you get up early when going to the library, because A) some ”Spotted:____ University Library” Facebook pages exists, where innocent by passers are judged on their appearance, so you need to walk into the library looking like you have come straight off the runway, and B) During exam season the library is RAMMED, and you can’t stroll in at three o clock like I once did and expect to get a seat anywhere other than the floor.